Giving feedback, particularly constructive feedback, is often a stressful task. As counterintuitive as it may seem, giving feedback to a top performer can be even tougher. Top performers may not have obvious development needs and in identifying those needs, you can sometimes feel like you're being nitpicky or over-demanding. In addition, top performers may not be used to hearing constructive feedback and may rankle at the slightest hint that they're not perfect. Amy Gallo, who writes at Harvard Business Review, suggests that, to high performance producers, managers should give both positive and constructive feedback on regular basis, identify development areas, even if there are only a few, and focus on the future and ask about motivations and goals. The expert also advice managers not to presume that a start has reached the limits of her performance, leave the top performers alone, or assume that they know how appreciated they are. ..
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Sunday, May 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Zi Gong Preserved the State of Lu – A Story of Powerful Persuasion
Tian Chang, the prime minister of the state of Qi, was plotting to take over the lordship. Deeply concerned about the likely obstruction from his archrivals, four prominent ministers, he decided to throw his state into a war with the state of Lu and assigned the ministers to lead the troops in the theater. Lu was the motherland of Confucius and many of his disciples. He chose Zi Gong to deal with leaders of the states and turn the situation around.
Zi Gong first visited Tian Chang at Qi. He said, “From my point of view, Lu isn’t your best target. Its fortifications are poorly built, its moats narrow and shallow, its ruler stupid and cruel and its ministers unfaithful and incompetent. Moreover, the officers and people are not willing to fight for the lordship. What’s the point to get into a conflict with such a difficult state? In my opinion, the state of Wu is the right target for you. Now, Wu is far better fortified. Its territory is extensive and stretches far, its armor stout and new, its officers carefully-selected and well fed. The lord of Wu has the best weaponry and elite troops. He has also assigned competent officials to be in charge. Don’t you think that the state of Wu is an easier pick?”
Tian Chang rose furiously and said, “I don’t get it! What you consider difficult everyone else takes as easy; what you consider easy everyone else believes to be difficult. What are you up to?”
Zi Gong replied, “It is said that one who suffers from external pressures should fight the weak, but one who suffers from internal troubles should fight the strong. Aren’t you facing internal challenges? I heard that you have tried three times to get yourself enfeoffed but failed because of the opposition from some ministers. Now, should this war exterminate Lu and thus expand the territory of Qi, the victory will certainly make the lord arrogant and bring great honor to the ministers who conducted the warfare in the field. However, it won’t necessarily get you as much credit. Therefore, you will end up being estranged from the lord because of the victory.
“As the lord becomes arrogant and the ministers become bigheaded, it will be much harder for you to achieve your goal. While an arrogant lord will be ruthless and won’t respect you as much, bigheaded ministers will be aggressive and likely to poke their noses into your affairs. All this will endanger your power and position in the state.
“Should Qi engage Wu in war, it won’t be victorious. The people will perish in battle and the powerful ministers will be caught in the war abroad. Then you don’t have to face complaints from the people and challenges from the ministers. The lord will be cut off from the ministers and you will have the state under your control.”
Tian Chang was thrilled, “Excellent!” He then inquired, “Now, our troops are already on their way to attack Lu. How can I turn the troops against Wu without causing suspicion among the ministers?”
Zi Gong replied, “The only thing you have to do is to ask your forces to take positions where they are and wait for further order from the court. In the meantime, if you would grant me your permission, I will persuade the Lord of Wu to come to Lu’s rescue and attack your forces. You can then order your forces to respond to Wu’s assault.”
Tian Chang agreed and Zi Gong traveled south to talk to the Lord of Wu, “I have heard that a true king won’t allow the extermination of other states and a true hegemony won’t let its enemy challenge its supremacy. A few ounces can shift the weight of a thousand tons. Qi is a state of 10,000 chariots. If it manages to take over Lu, which is a state of 1,000 chariots, it will add weight to Qi and thus make it stronger than Wu. By attacking Qi and coming to Lu’s rescue, you will gain both a glorious name and great profits. What could be more advantageous than eliminating the threat to the feudal lords north of Si River, defeating aggressive Qi, and suppressing the mighty Jin? No one is going to question your motive for bringing strong Qi to its knees in the name of preserving weak Lu.”
The Lord of Wu replied, “Excellent. However, I have to strike Yue first. We defeated it previously. The Lord of Yue has been staying in the remote Mount Kuai Ji and endured a great deal of suffering to prepare his state and gather warriors. He wants to avenge himself. Let me settle with Yue once and for all and then I will follow your suggestion and focus on war with Qi.”
Zi Gong said, “Yue’s strength does not exceed Lu’s, nor does Wu’s territory exceed Qi’s. Should you strike Yue first, Lu will have already been taken by Qi as you are done with Yue. Your majesty desires the fame of preserving the weak states and preventing them from being exterminated. Attacking the small state of Yue and avoiding the large state of Qi will not be regarded as courageous. The courageous never avoid strong enemy; the benevolent never ignore their responsibility; the wise never let opportunities slip away, and the lordship who wants to build the fame of righteousness never allows endangered states to be wiped out. By not attacking Yue, you would demonstrate your benevolence to the feudal lords. Should you preserve Lu, defeat Qi, and contain Jin, the feudal lords will lead each other to court to Wu and your hegemony will thus be achieved.
“I understand your concerns with Yue. If you would grant me your permission, I would like to travel east and ask the Lord of Yue to join you in the war against Qi. This will not only empty out Yue but get you support from the feudal lords as well.”
The Lord of Wu was delighted and sent Zi Gong on his way to Yue.
The Lord of Yue, Gou Jian, had the road cleared, went to the suburb to meet Zi Gong, and personally escorted him to the state’s guest house. He asked, “How is it that such a respected teacher deigned to dishonor himself with a visit to our uncivilized state?”
Zi Gong replied, “I have persuaded the Lord of Wu to attack Qi and rescue Lu. Although he has agreed to do it, he is more concerned about your military buildup at the moment, saying: ‘Wait until I finish off Yue.’ Thus Yue is obviously facing a catastrophe. Having no intention of taking revenge against others but letting them have doubts is stupid. To be intent getting even with others and to let them know about it is suicidal. To allow the enemy to find out your intention before your execute the plan gravely endangers yourself. These are the three potential disasters for those who attempt to make the world different.”
Gou Jian bowed and said, “I miscalculated my strengths and thereby lost the war to Wu in Mount Kuai Ji. The pain of the defeat penetrates my bones. Day and night, it burns my lips and cracks my tongue. I can’t wait to put up a fight to kill him and I don’t care if I die for that. This has been my wish.”
Zi Gong said, “The Lord of Wu is brutal and his ministers can no longer withstand him. His state has been exhausted in frequent conflicts and the officers and troops are tired of warfare. The people are resentful at the way they are treated and the ministers are worried about their own fates. Wu Zi Xu remonstrated and thus was killed. Chancellor Po Pi takes control of the state affairs. He preserves his own power by according with the Lord of Wu’s wish. All these indicate the downfall of the state. Now, if your majesty were to send forth your troops and encourage him to rescue Lu, to send valued treasure to make him happy, and to speak humbly to honor his court, he will surely attack Qi. If he loses the war, it would be your great fortune. If he defeats Qi, then his army will certainly approach the state of Jin. I will travel north to persuade the Lord of Jin to be prepared to strike Wu. Once Jin enters the war, Wu will definitely be weakened. With Wu’s elite troops tied up in Qi and his heavy armor entangled in Jin, your majesty can then exploit its exhaustion. Wu's extinction will be inevitable.”
Feeling enlightened, Gou Jian agreed Zi Gong’s plan and wanted to give Zi Gong 100 ounces of gold, a decorated sword, and two superlative spears. Zi Gong declined the gifts and reported back to the Lord of Wu, “I presented your majesty’s words to the Lord of Yue. He was terrified and said, ‘My life has been full of misfortune. I did have great guidance since I lost my parents when I was young. I then miscalculated our strengths, attacked the state of Wu and thus offended the Lord of Wu. Our army was wiped out and my state was reduced to ruin. I was humiliated by the defeat and had to stay in a shelter at Mount Kuai Ji. The Lord of Wu has been merciful enough to allow us to continue our ancestral sacrifices. I can never thank him enough for that. Why would I plot a revenge attack against him?’”
Five days later, the Lord of Yue’s personal representative, Wen Zhong, came to meet with the Lord of Wu. He bowed and said, “From the Eastern Sea I am your follower Gou Jian’s minor emissary here to inquire about your court. Now we happened to learn that your majesty is going to bring justice, crush the aggressor and save the weak state, hold the brutal Qi in check, and sustain the House of Zhou. My lord Gou Jian would like to request that you allow us to send all of our troops, which are 3,000 strong, to the battlefield and grant Gou Jian the privilege of personally fight as the vanguard of the army. Moreover, your humble servant offers the armors and weaponry that our ancestors had stored away, which include twenty sets of stout armor, sharp spears, and glistening swords, to honor your officers.”
The Lord of Wu, greatly pleased, asked Zi Gong, “The Lord of Yue wants to personally accompany me in our attack upon Qi. Should I allow it?”
Zi Gong replied, “You should not. Emptying out a ruler’s state, taking all his troops, and then bringing the ruler for your service would not be appropriate. Your majesty should accept his gifts, take his forces with you, but ask the ruler stay in his own state.”
The Lord of Wu followed Zi Gong’s suggestions, sent his regard to Gou Jian, and then mobilized nine branches of his troops to strike Qi.
As the Lord of Wu launched warfare against Qi, Zi Gong traveled west to speak with the Lord of Jin, “It is said that no country can effectively put down an enemy’s strike without a proper contingent plan and no army can conquer its enemy without adequate preparation. Wu and Qi are about to engage in a war. Should Wu fail to win the war, Yue will surely take the opportunity to destroy Wu. Should Wu manage to conquer Qi, on the other hand, its troops will surely approach Jin.”
Shocked by the situation, the Lord of Jin asked Zi Gong for his advice. Zi Gong said, “Prepare your weapons and have your troops ready.” The Lord of Jin agreed to follow his advice. Zi Gong then went back to Lu.
The Lord of Wu indeed engaged Qi in a battle at Ai Ling and inflicted a serious defeat on his enemy. After capturing Qi’s seven generals, the Lord of Wu had no intention to return to his home state. Instead, he ordered his forces to approach the state of Jin as Zi Gong had predicted. Wu’s forces confronted Jin’s above Yellow Pool. Both sides were fighting for supremacy. The Lord of Jin managed to devastate Wu’s forces. As the news arrived, the Lord of Yue took his army across the Yangzi River, forced deep into the state of Wu, and took a position seven miles from Wu’s capital. As the Lord of Wu heard about Yue’s attack, he disengaged his forces from Jin, rushed back to Wu, and engaged Yue in battles at Five Lakes. He lost three battles. Yue’s troops stormed into the city, surrounded the palace, and killed both the Lord of Wu and Chancellor Po Pi. Three years after Wu’s extermination, Yue grew into hegemony in the East.
Zi Gong’s mission led to the preservation of Lu, breaking of Qi, destruction of Wu, strengthening of Jin, and hegemony for Yue. It reshaped the balance of power and resulted in significant changes in status of the five states in the following 10 years.
Zi Gong first visited Tian Chang at Qi. He said, “From my point of view, Lu isn’t your best target. Its fortifications are poorly built, its moats narrow and shallow, its ruler stupid and cruel and its ministers unfaithful and incompetent. Moreover, the officers and people are not willing to fight for the lordship. What’s the point to get into a conflict with such a difficult state? In my opinion, the state of Wu is the right target for you. Now, Wu is far better fortified. Its territory is extensive and stretches far, its armor stout and new, its officers carefully-selected and well fed. The lord of Wu has the best weaponry and elite troops. He has also assigned competent officials to be in charge. Don’t you think that the state of Wu is an easier pick?”
Tian Chang rose furiously and said, “I don’t get it! What you consider difficult everyone else takes as easy; what you consider easy everyone else believes to be difficult. What are you up to?”
Zi Gong replied, “It is said that one who suffers from external pressures should fight the weak, but one who suffers from internal troubles should fight the strong. Aren’t you facing internal challenges? I heard that you have tried three times to get yourself enfeoffed but failed because of the opposition from some ministers. Now, should this war exterminate Lu and thus expand the territory of Qi, the victory will certainly make the lord arrogant and bring great honor to the ministers who conducted the warfare in the field. However, it won’t necessarily get you as much credit. Therefore, you will end up being estranged from the lord because of the victory.
“As the lord becomes arrogant and the ministers become bigheaded, it will be much harder for you to achieve your goal. While an arrogant lord will be ruthless and won’t respect you as much, bigheaded ministers will be aggressive and likely to poke their noses into your affairs. All this will endanger your power and position in the state.
“Should Qi engage Wu in war, it won’t be victorious. The people will perish in battle and the powerful ministers will be caught in the war abroad. Then you don’t have to face complaints from the people and challenges from the ministers. The lord will be cut off from the ministers and you will have the state under your control.”
Tian Chang was thrilled, “Excellent!” He then inquired, “Now, our troops are already on their way to attack Lu. How can I turn the troops against Wu without causing suspicion among the ministers?”
Zi Gong replied, “The only thing you have to do is to ask your forces to take positions where they are and wait for further order from the court. In the meantime, if you would grant me your permission, I will persuade the Lord of Wu to come to Lu’s rescue and attack your forces. You can then order your forces to respond to Wu’s assault.”
Tian Chang agreed and Zi Gong traveled south to talk to the Lord of Wu, “I have heard that a true king won’t allow the extermination of other states and a true hegemony won’t let its enemy challenge its supremacy. A few ounces can shift the weight of a thousand tons. Qi is a state of 10,000 chariots. If it manages to take over Lu, which is a state of 1,000 chariots, it will add weight to Qi and thus make it stronger than Wu. By attacking Qi and coming to Lu’s rescue, you will gain both a glorious name and great profits. What could be more advantageous than eliminating the threat to the feudal lords north of Si River, defeating aggressive Qi, and suppressing the mighty Jin? No one is going to question your motive for bringing strong Qi to its knees in the name of preserving weak Lu.”
The Lord of Wu replied, “Excellent. However, I have to strike Yue first. We defeated it previously. The Lord of Yue has been staying in the remote Mount Kuai Ji and endured a great deal of suffering to prepare his state and gather warriors. He wants to avenge himself. Let me settle with Yue once and for all and then I will follow your suggestion and focus on war with Qi.”
Zi Gong said, “Yue’s strength does not exceed Lu’s, nor does Wu’s territory exceed Qi’s. Should you strike Yue first, Lu will have already been taken by Qi as you are done with Yue. Your majesty desires the fame of preserving the weak states and preventing them from being exterminated. Attacking the small state of Yue and avoiding the large state of Qi will not be regarded as courageous. The courageous never avoid strong enemy; the benevolent never ignore their responsibility; the wise never let opportunities slip away, and the lordship who wants to build the fame of righteousness never allows endangered states to be wiped out. By not attacking Yue, you would demonstrate your benevolence to the feudal lords. Should you preserve Lu, defeat Qi, and contain Jin, the feudal lords will lead each other to court to Wu and your hegemony will thus be achieved.
“I understand your concerns with Yue. If you would grant me your permission, I would like to travel east and ask the Lord of Yue to join you in the war against Qi. This will not only empty out Yue but get you support from the feudal lords as well.”
The Lord of Wu was delighted and sent Zi Gong on his way to Yue.
The Lord of Yue, Gou Jian, had the road cleared, went to the suburb to meet Zi Gong, and personally escorted him to the state’s guest house. He asked, “How is it that such a respected teacher deigned to dishonor himself with a visit to our uncivilized state?”
Zi Gong replied, “I have persuaded the Lord of Wu to attack Qi and rescue Lu. Although he has agreed to do it, he is more concerned about your military buildup at the moment, saying: ‘Wait until I finish off Yue.’ Thus Yue is obviously facing a catastrophe. Having no intention of taking revenge against others but letting them have doubts is stupid. To be intent getting even with others and to let them know about it is suicidal. To allow the enemy to find out your intention before your execute the plan gravely endangers yourself. These are the three potential disasters for those who attempt to make the world different.”
Gou Jian bowed and said, “I miscalculated my strengths and thereby lost the war to Wu in Mount Kuai Ji. The pain of the defeat penetrates my bones. Day and night, it burns my lips and cracks my tongue. I can’t wait to put up a fight to kill him and I don’t care if I die for that. This has been my wish.”
Zi Gong said, “The Lord of Wu is brutal and his ministers can no longer withstand him. His state has been exhausted in frequent conflicts and the officers and troops are tired of warfare. The people are resentful at the way they are treated and the ministers are worried about their own fates. Wu Zi Xu remonstrated and thus was killed. Chancellor Po Pi takes control of the state affairs. He preserves his own power by according with the Lord of Wu’s wish. All these indicate the downfall of the state. Now, if your majesty were to send forth your troops and encourage him to rescue Lu, to send valued treasure to make him happy, and to speak humbly to honor his court, he will surely attack Qi. If he loses the war, it would be your great fortune. If he defeats Qi, then his army will certainly approach the state of Jin. I will travel north to persuade the Lord of Jin to be prepared to strike Wu. Once Jin enters the war, Wu will definitely be weakened. With Wu’s elite troops tied up in Qi and his heavy armor entangled in Jin, your majesty can then exploit its exhaustion. Wu's extinction will be inevitable.”
Feeling enlightened, Gou Jian agreed Zi Gong’s plan and wanted to give Zi Gong 100 ounces of gold, a decorated sword, and two superlative spears. Zi Gong declined the gifts and reported back to the Lord of Wu, “I presented your majesty’s words to the Lord of Yue. He was terrified and said, ‘My life has been full of misfortune. I did have great guidance since I lost my parents when I was young. I then miscalculated our strengths, attacked the state of Wu and thus offended the Lord of Wu. Our army was wiped out and my state was reduced to ruin. I was humiliated by the defeat and had to stay in a shelter at Mount Kuai Ji. The Lord of Wu has been merciful enough to allow us to continue our ancestral sacrifices. I can never thank him enough for that. Why would I plot a revenge attack against him?’”
Five days later, the Lord of Yue’s personal representative, Wen Zhong, came to meet with the Lord of Wu. He bowed and said, “From the Eastern Sea I am your follower Gou Jian’s minor emissary here to inquire about your court. Now we happened to learn that your majesty is going to bring justice, crush the aggressor and save the weak state, hold the brutal Qi in check, and sustain the House of Zhou. My lord Gou Jian would like to request that you allow us to send all of our troops, which are 3,000 strong, to the battlefield and grant Gou Jian the privilege of personally fight as the vanguard of the army. Moreover, your humble servant offers the armors and weaponry that our ancestors had stored away, which include twenty sets of stout armor, sharp spears, and glistening swords, to honor your officers.”
The Lord of Wu, greatly pleased, asked Zi Gong, “The Lord of Yue wants to personally accompany me in our attack upon Qi. Should I allow it?”
Zi Gong replied, “You should not. Emptying out a ruler’s state, taking all his troops, and then bringing the ruler for your service would not be appropriate. Your majesty should accept his gifts, take his forces with you, but ask the ruler stay in his own state.”
The Lord of Wu followed Zi Gong’s suggestions, sent his regard to Gou Jian, and then mobilized nine branches of his troops to strike Qi.
As the Lord of Wu launched warfare against Qi, Zi Gong traveled west to speak with the Lord of Jin, “It is said that no country can effectively put down an enemy’s strike without a proper contingent plan and no army can conquer its enemy without adequate preparation. Wu and Qi are about to engage in a war. Should Wu fail to win the war, Yue will surely take the opportunity to destroy Wu. Should Wu manage to conquer Qi, on the other hand, its troops will surely approach Jin.”
Shocked by the situation, the Lord of Jin asked Zi Gong for his advice. Zi Gong said, “Prepare your weapons and have your troops ready.” The Lord of Jin agreed to follow his advice. Zi Gong then went back to Lu.
The Lord of Wu indeed engaged Qi in a battle at Ai Ling and inflicted a serious defeat on his enemy. After capturing Qi’s seven generals, the Lord of Wu had no intention to return to his home state. Instead, he ordered his forces to approach the state of Jin as Zi Gong had predicted. Wu’s forces confronted Jin’s above Yellow Pool. Both sides were fighting for supremacy. The Lord of Jin managed to devastate Wu’s forces. As the news arrived, the Lord of Yue took his army across the Yangzi River, forced deep into the state of Wu, and took a position seven miles from Wu’s capital. As the Lord of Wu heard about Yue’s attack, he disengaged his forces from Jin, rushed back to Wu, and engaged Yue in battles at Five Lakes. He lost three battles. Yue’s troops stormed into the city, surrounded the palace, and killed both the Lord of Wu and Chancellor Po Pi. Three years after Wu’s extermination, Yue grew into hegemony in the East.
Zi Gong’s mission led to the preservation of Lu, breaking of Qi, destruction of Wu, strengthening of Jin, and hegemony for Yue. It reshaped the balance of power and resulted in significant changes in status of the five states in the following 10 years.
Overcome Resistance with the Right Questions
You'll need different kinds of questions for different stages in the discussion. Here's a list of six categories of questions for a Socratic Dialogue, compiled by Richard Paul of the Center for Critical Studies: 1) questions that help clarify what the other person means; 2) questions that probe assumptions; 3) questions that look into the rationale, reasons and evidence the other person's using; 4) questions examining viewpoints and perspectives; 5) questions that probe implications and consequences; 6) questions get to the root of the other person's questions…
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How Ted Kennedy Got Things Done
It has been said that when Republicans wanted to drum up financial support all they had to do was invoke the name of Ted Kennedy in a piece of direct mail and the funds would roll in. That a man who was an anathema to some could over time become so revered by men and women on both sides of the political aisle is a tribute to Kennedy's ability to connect personally, as well as to his dogged perseverance in causes that mattered to him. How Kennedy was able to bring sides together is a virtue that leaders at every level need to master. While leadership in the corporate sector can come largely from the executive suite, to get things done well you need to act more as a legislator. That involves working with and persuading people who don't agree with you. Regardless of what the CEO desires, initiatives do not happen until people on the ground embrace them; and that's where peer-to-peer leadership, the kind that occurs in legislative bodies, works.
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Seven Communication Mistakes Managers Make
Seven communication mistakes managers make are: 1) making controversial announcements without doing groundwork first; 2) lying; 3) ignoring the realities of power; 4) underestimating your audience's intelligence; 5) confusing process with outcome; 6) using inappropriate forms of communication; 7) ignoring acts of omission...
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Thursday, January 7, 2010
The Framework of Persuasion
I could not believe it when I read the story of “Zi Gong preserve the State of Lu” at a Barnes & Noble store several years ago. Zi Gong, who had absolutely no political or military power to play, managed to change the course of a war and turned landscape of the country upside down 2,000+ years ago single-handedly through his powerful persuasion. Tian Chang, the prime minister of the stake of Qi, launched a war against the state of Lu, its smaller neighbor, for the purpose of driving his rival generals to the theater abroad and isolating the lord of the state so that he can eventually take over the lordship. Determined to preserve the state of Lu and eliminate the threats from its ruthless neighbors, Zi Gong, persuaded Tian Chang to turn his army to the state of Wu, convinced the lord of Wu to seize the moment of opportunity to destroy the state of Qi and challenge the state of Jin for the purpose of building his hegemon, and helped the states of Yue and Jin to plan the final extermination of the state of Wu.
This story was recorded by Sima Qian in Shi Ji (史记) . Here is my English translation: Zi Gong story
How did Zi Gong pull it off? What made his persuasion so effective? What can we learn from his persuasion? My analysis of this and other persuasion stories indicates that the power of persuasion contains three key elements: capturing others’ cravings, influencing others’ choice of approaches, and making other’s approaches feasible.
Capturing Others’ Cravings
In Zi Gong story, Tian Chang, the prime minister of the state of Lu, ignored interest of his state and laser-focused on taking over the lordship of the state. The lord of Wu had a thirst for achieving his hegemon with no regard of the risks. The lord of Yue suffered from the pain of defeat day and night and could hardly wait to put up a fight to kill the lord of Wu. The story tells us that people usually have their cravings – things that are best for his or her self-realization and for rewarding himself or herself. Literatures in the areas of personality studies and social and personal development studies have listed many such cravings. To name a few: some striving to be right according to principles, to dominate the environment, to be possessive; others always going the extra mile to avert conflicts, to be needed, included or admired by others; some loving to be known as creative or knowledgeable. While the cravings are often triggered by significant events during a person’s moral development stage, they are mainly shaped by people’s beliefs and values developed through interacting with their environment. As stable as one’s beliefs and values, a person’s cravings can hardly be changed through persuasion. Zi Gong’s success in changing the course of the war and preserving the state of Lu results from his ability to exploit the statesmen’s cravings: 1) Tian Chang’s desire to isolate the lord of Qi and weaken his rival generals, 2) the lord of Wu’s desire for hegemon and 3) the lord of Yue’s resolve to get his revenge. To persuade others, we need to make sure that our proposals serve their cravings well. To protect ourselves, on the other hand, we have to be aware of the vulnerability resulting from our own cravings.
Influence Others’ Choice of Approaches
Having a good grasp of others’ cravings and develop proposals accordingly achieves only half of the task; persuasion deals not only how others think but also what and how others practice. Tian Chang wanted to strengthen his power by sending his rival generals away from the lord of Qi and to war theaters abroad. Zi Gong artfully averted Tian Chang’s target of the war and did not tell him that he should fight his rivals in the court of the state. The lord of Wu prefers conquering others through armed conflict. Zi Gong persuaded him to leave the state of Yue alone through obtaining lord of Yue’s plea for peace and to turn his war machine against other states and did not ask him to keep the peace and subdue other states through power play. The lord of Yue wanted the death of the lord of Wu. Zi Gong managed to get him to post-pone his strike until a better moment and did not ask him to switch to other means. The choice of approach is heavily influenced by one’s beliefs, values and personalities. It is interesting to observe how Zi Gong, who shared no cravings with the statesmen, managed to get them to do what he wanted by offering ideas which affirm their preference of the approaches. To persuade others, we need to focus on figuring out how others’ choice of approach can be utilized for our purposes and develop our proposals which are in line with their preferences. To protect ourselves, we have to keep our eyes on the risks of having things carried away by those whose goals are far different from ours.
Making Others’ Approaches More Feasible
This story shows that people’s decisions are predominantly determined by their cravings and choice of approaches. Time and again, people move forward with no regard of vital disadvantages and risks, leading to a great room for persuasion using diligence. From Zi Gong’s point of view, feasibilities of the approaches can be greatly improved if appropriate adjustments are made. Tian Chang’s purpose of isolating the lord of Qi and weakening his rival generals can be better served if he can get the generals stuck with a stronger enemy abroad. The lord of Wu should seize the opportunity to crash the state of Qi through taking the vulnerable state of Lu and the “friendly” state of Yue as his allies and in the name of saving a sovereign state. Finally, the lord of Yue will have much better chance to take his revenge by holding his strike until the state of Wu suffers from a severe defeat by the powerful state of Jin in the north. To persuade others, we can get others to adjust their approaches to fit our needs. To protect ourselves, we have to make sure that any adjustment should lead to the outcome that best serve our own needs.
When it comes to discussions about persuasion, many authors look rightly into the interests of those to be persuaded. What puzzles people is the fact that interests perceived important to persuaders are not that effective in persuasion. In reality, interests are quite complicated – collective vs. individual, long-term vs. short-term, core vs. peripheral. If we get good grasp of the cravings, choice of approaches and feasibility in the eyes of those whom we want to persuade we have better chance to understand why they focus on one interest over another.
Finally, get people else to provide what we want should not be the ultimate goal. History shows, times and gain, that people have to face the outcomes of their acts and unethical and immoral maneuvers always ended up with those players suffering from the disasters they had created.
MORE BLOGS BY WINSTON
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This story was recorded by Sima Qian in Shi Ji (史记) . Here is my English translation: Zi Gong story
How did Zi Gong pull it off? What made his persuasion so effective? What can we learn from his persuasion? My analysis of this and other persuasion stories indicates that the power of persuasion contains three key elements: capturing others’ cravings, influencing others’ choice of approaches, and making other’s approaches feasible.
Capturing Others’ Cravings
In Zi Gong story, Tian Chang, the prime minister of the state of Lu, ignored interest of his state and laser-focused on taking over the lordship of the state. The lord of Wu had a thirst for achieving his hegemon with no regard of the risks. The lord of Yue suffered from the pain of defeat day and night and could hardly wait to put up a fight to kill the lord of Wu. The story tells us that people usually have their cravings – things that are best for his or her self-realization and for rewarding himself or herself. Literatures in the areas of personality studies and social and personal development studies have listed many such cravings. To name a few: some striving to be right according to principles, to dominate the environment, to be possessive; others always going the extra mile to avert conflicts, to be needed, included or admired by others; some loving to be known as creative or knowledgeable. While the cravings are often triggered by significant events during a person’s moral development stage, they are mainly shaped by people’s beliefs and values developed through interacting with their environment. As stable as one’s beliefs and values, a person’s cravings can hardly be changed through persuasion. Zi Gong’s success in changing the course of the war and preserving the state of Lu results from his ability to exploit the statesmen’s cravings: 1) Tian Chang’s desire to isolate the lord of Qi and weaken his rival generals, 2) the lord of Wu’s desire for hegemon and 3) the lord of Yue’s resolve to get his revenge. To persuade others, we need to make sure that our proposals serve their cravings well. To protect ourselves, on the other hand, we have to be aware of the vulnerability resulting from our own cravings.
Influence Others’ Choice of Approaches
Having a good grasp of others’ cravings and develop proposals accordingly achieves only half of the task; persuasion deals not only how others think but also what and how others practice. Tian Chang wanted to strengthen his power by sending his rival generals away from the lord of Qi and to war theaters abroad. Zi Gong artfully averted Tian Chang’s target of the war and did not tell him that he should fight his rivals in the court of the state. The lord of Wu prefers conquering others through armed conflict. Zi Gong persuaded him to leave the state of Yue alone through obtaining lord of Yue’s plea for peace and to turn his war machine against other states and did not ask him to keep the peace and subdue other states through power play. The lord of Yue wanted the death of the lord of Wu. Zi Gong managed to get him to post-pone his strike until a better moment and did not ask him to switch to other means. The choice of approach is heavily influenced by one’s beliefs, values and personalities. It is interesting to observe how Zi Gong, who shared no cravings with the statesmen, managed to get them to do what he wanted by offering ideas which affirm their preference of the approaches. To persuade others, we need to focus on figuring out how others’ choice of approach can be utilized for our purposes and develop our proposals which are in line with their preferences. To protect ourselves, we have to keep our eyes on the risks of having things carried away by those whose goals are far different from ours.
Making Others’ Approaches More Feasible
This story shows that people’s decisions are predominantly determined by their cravings and choice of approaches. Time and again, people move forward with no regard of vital disadvantages and risks, leading to a great room for persuasion using diligence. From Zi Gong’s point of view, feasibilities of the approaches can be greatly improved if appropriate adjustments are made. Tian Chang’s purpose of isolating the lord of Qi and weakening his rival generals can be better served if he can get the generals stuck with a stronger enemy abroad. The lord of Wu should seize the opportunity to crash the state of Qi through taking the vulnerable state of Lu and the “friendly” state of Yue as his allies and in the name of saving a sovereign state. Finally, the lord of Yue will have much better chance to take his revenge by holding his strike until the state of Wu suffers from a severe defeat by the powerful state of Jin in the north. To persuade others, we can get others to adjust their approaches to fit our needs. To protect ourselves, we have to make sure that any adjustment should lead to the outcome that best serve our own needs.
When it comes to discussions about persuasion, many authors look rightly into the interests of those to be persuaded. What puzzles people is the fact that interests perceived important to persuaders are not that effective in persuasion. In reality, interests are quite complicated – collective vs. individual, long-term vs. short-term, core vs. peripheral. If we get good grasp of the cravings, choice of approaches and feasibility in the eyes of those whom we want to persuade we have better chance to understand why they focus on one interest over another.
Finally, get people else to provide what we want should not be the ultimate goal. History shows, times and gain, that people have to face the outcomes of their acts and unethical and immoral maneuvers always ended up with those players suffering from the disasters they had created.
MORE BLOGS BY WINSTON
Persuasion Story
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Strategy Framework
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Critical Insights
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